No Such Thing
by Kyla Mizuki
Summary: Just watched Doomsday and felt the Doctor, Rose, and myself needed some closure because there really is no such thing as forever...


Kyla: Okay, I was real bummed out after finally watching Doomsday... I cried during the last 15 or 20 minutes of the episode and even then after I got done watching it. I wrote this as a sort of closure, I suppose.

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No Such Thing  
by  
Kyla

Rose thought they would be together forever, but there is no such thing as forever. The Doctor knew this but allowed Rose to continue traveling with him, if only to lessen the loneliness he felt. He knew there would come a time where they would ultimately have to part ways, but.. he didn't think it would happen like it did...

The Doctor burned up a sun to say good bye. He felt it was the least he could do, though he did have his own selfish reasons. He wanted to see her again, even if it would be the last time. It had been torture for him back before he closed the rift, watching Rose struggle to hold on. He had let her down. He hadn't been able to save her that time. She was just lucky that Pete Tyler came in the nick of time.

Still, the Doctor's mind was heavy after he did succeed in closing the rift. He knew she was safe in the other dimension, and he convinced himself that he was glad she was at least alive. _Better alive and in another dimension than dead,_ he thought dully as he pressed his ear to the wall, disbelief and shock keeping him standing there for a few more moments still. However, it didn't matter that she was still alive because a part of him made him act like she was dead. It was not like he could ever see her again. All the time they had spent together...

Rose had thought it would last, that she would go on traveling with the lonely Doctor. She had promised to stand by him, but that promise turned out to be too hard to keep. She pounded on the wall where the rift had been. She cried and shouted but nothing helped. Sticking her head to the door, she had tried to hear him. She wanted so badly for him to appear in the TARDIS and say that everything was fine, but there was no Doctor to comfort her. He hadn't come to her; he couldn't, not this time.

And that was it. The two were no longer traveling companions, but... the Doctor craved something else. He needed closure, just as Rose did. So, he burned up a sun to say his final good bye, to show Rose how much she meant to him. So, by a whisper in her dreams, he said her name, calling her to a small gap in the dimensions.

Rose had traveled far to see him, following the voice she had heard in the dream, and that dream led her all the way to Norway, to a place called Bad Wolf Bay. She would have laughed at the irony if it wasn't for the anxiety building in her chest. Tentatively, she waited until an image of the Doctor appeared. She felt like crying; he was standing there right in front of her, but she could not touch him. He was so close to her, yet he couldn't have been farther from her reach.

Even in the heavy, sad atmosphere that settled around them, the two managed to have a few laughs. Both knew this would be the last time, the very last time they would—they could—see each other. This was it. They had to find their peace.

It took all of the Doctor's self control to force a smile, but he somehow managed. He knew she would be alright, given time. She would get over him and move on in life, and that's what he needed. He did not want her to be stuck in the past. This whole thing wasn't even her fault. He hated to see her suffering as she was now, standing before him and on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Only two minutes were left, and what scared Rose the most was that she had no idea what to say. She struggled to get out her words, her voice cracking as she tried to hold back her tears. She saw him standing before her and knew she needed to tell him. It took her a couple of tries, but she finally managed to say those three words. _"I love you..."_

The Doctor could only give her a sad smile as those words echoed in his head. He was sure of one thing, he would certainly never forget her, because she was the Defender of Earth. She was one of those brilliant human beings, one of those stupid apes, but most of all, she was, or had been, his companion, and he loved her. He was about to tell her so, too. _"Rose Tyler, I..." _But he never got his chance to finish that sentence.

The gap in the dimensions had closed, and that was the end. He could not finish that one sentence that he so desperately wanted to say. When he realized that he would never see her again, would never get to tell her what he had wanted—no, needed—to tell her, the grief was almost too much for him. He didn't even seem to take notice of the few tears that escaped his eyes and ran down his cheeks.

Yes, it had happened, as, deep down, he knew it would. From the start, he knew Rose could not travel with him forever, as she said she would. There was no doubt in his mind that she _wanted _to travel alongside him for so long, but he knew it was impossible. It was just as he knew it would be, but he didn't think it would be quite like this, didn't think it would be so painful. He hated the fact that they were not even allowed to have the proper time and opportunity to say good bye.

The Doctor didn't seem to be given much time to grieve, however, because the next thing he knew, a woman in a wedding dress appeared in the TARDIS, confusing the Doctor and immediately throwing him into a new adventure. It was as if time and space wouldn't allow him the time to grieve, to have his pity party and get over it. No, he had yet to come to terms with it. He was meant to go on hurting, as if the universe enjoyed playing with him, hurting him. So, he continued on, the fresh wound on his heart still bleeding. He had always lost anyone close to him that he didn't see why he wasn't used to it by now.

What was the point in taking on a companion or two as he went, when he knew it would only further break his heart once the time came to say good bye? Though he doubted none would hurt as much as when he parted ways with Rose. He kept companions with him, however, to try to ease the loneliness, and he knew that, no matter how much it hurt, it still helped the loneliness some. But, he would always find himself alone again in the end. That is what he feared most, dying alone. He didn't want to be alone, but it seemed that was fate's plan. Until then, he told himself, he would continue to surround himself with other beings as much as possible.

Meanwhile, Rose was still back at Bad Wolf Bay encompassed in her mother's arms. She cried and cried into Jackie's shoulder, wishing that the whole thing had been a nightmare, that she would wake up and find the Doctor laughing at her dream and telling her it would never happen, but this was reality. Rose feared reality. She hated it. After seeing so much of the universe and traveling with him for so long, the thought of working as a shop girl for the rest of her life scared her to death. She craved something more. It was impossible for her to go back to the way she used to live.

But, here she was, stuck with her mother in a parallel universe with no chance of ever getting to see the Doctor again. She had known life could be cruel, but this was torture. Her mother tried to tell her it wasn't the end of the world, but Rose begged to differ. It was indeed the end of _her_ world as she had known it. Everything had been turned upside down, and she hated it. It wasn't fair, but then again, life was anything but fair.

So, what was she to do now? She could only wonder. If she was honest with herself, she didn't want to go back to being a shop girl, going day to day in a routine too mundane for her. She had caught that glimpse of the universe, only to have it all snatched away in a moment. Now, she was lost on her own planet. Funny how she could feel so at home on a foreign planet with the Doctor but then feel like an outsider when being surrounded by humans and on Earth.

There really is no such thing as forever. Rose was just another stupid ape, a brilliant yet stupid human being, because forever was not meant for humans, nor was it meant for Time Lords, such as the Doctor. No, in the end, there is no forever, there is only hello, good bye, and the memories made in between.

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Kyla: Alright, well I went through and edited this last night and am replacing it, so.. yeah! Here we go! Review, ne? 


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